Translating John Edwards

John Edwards was asked what he would do about Iran. Here is his answer and my utterly unfair translation, full of cheap shots, line by line.

I--there's no answer to that question at this moment.

Whoa. You’re asking me? Dude, I just spent the morning getting my hair styled and you want me to figure out what to do with Iran?

I think that it's a--it's a--it's a very bad thing for Iran to get a nuclear weapon.

I may be a Democrat, but I’m still sane.

I think we have--we have many steps in front of us that have not been used.

I have no clue what we should do, but I'll attack Bush for not doing enough.

We ought to negotiate directly with the Iranians, which has not, not been done.

If we just talked to these people who call us the Great Satan, surely they would see the light.

The things that I just talked about, I think, are the right approach in dealing with Iran.

I would like to stop talking, but if I stop too soon people will think I’m an intellectual lightweight, so I’m filling time with meaningless phrases.

And then we'll, we'll see what the result is. . . . I think--I think the--we don't know, and you have to make a judgment as you go along, and that's what I would do as president.

Look, our foreign policy has flown by the seat of its pants for 60 years. You think I’m going to come up with something new? Can we talk about Anna Nicole Smith now?