Tuesday, January 08, 2008

New Hampshire: Night of the Living Dead

Iowa gave us the shiny, happy people: Obama and Huckabee. New Hampshire gave us the grumpy old creeps: Clinton and McCain. Both Clinton and McCain had been pronounced dead, but the dead have come to life.

Perhaps New Hampshire's Democrats thought twice about Obama and decided they didn't want an empty suit -- or should I write an empty skin? Because in our multiculturalist culture his skin color is about the only concrete thing Obama has going for him. He'll be the first black president! The rest is a rhetoric of floating concepts meant to inspire, empty words such as hope, change and uniting America.

Republicans throughout the land breathe a sigh of relief and praise their supernatural deity. Thank you, Lord, for not taking Hillary from us; in thy name we will burn this witch in November. They had a bad few days as they watched Hillary Clinton's meltdown come 10 months too early. She cried in New Hampshire, but her fate is not to be Muskie's; she's still around and she will be the Democrat nominee.

I don't think John McCain has a chance of winning, but if he does win, it will be a disaster for America. This is a man who believes Americans should sacrifice for something greater than self-interest. If he is elected, I believe we will have mandatory national service -- two years of slavery to the state for every young person -- by 2012. John McCain will assault liberty more than Hillary Clinton could ever dream of doing with her high "negatives" and Republicans in Congress who only oppose the big government Democrats propose.

John McCain has suffered much in service to his country. Now he wants to make the rest of us suffer.

Tonight the ghouls clawed their way out of the grave. Now they trudge toward us moaning, "Brains... brains!"


Rick "Doc" MacDonald said...

Great post. I love the mix of humor and thought. I'm of to work...work!

Rational Jenn said...

That is one of your best posts, ever! I laughed myself silly! Politics is not something I'm inclined to laugh about as a general rule--mostly I rant and curse. I'm thinking that perhaps humor would be a much better way to deal with the situation.

I still think Hillary is a robot. If I were in the robot demographic, she'd get my vote!

softwareNerd said...

McCain probably has a couple more weeks of basking in the illusion that he might make it. This is because Michigan moved it's primaries, making it the next state after New Hampshire; and MI is a state he has a good chance of winning. [A lot of it is because the Democrats don;t count Michigan, so a lot of Dems end up voting for the GOP guy they like best.]

pwbeatty (Sark) said...

Great post. I am intrigued by this election more than I have been in quite some time.

I'm thinking there is going to be a few more "clawed their way out of the grave" before this is all said and done.

Mike N said...

Good post Myrhaf:

There are two pieces of good news out of NH though. On the Dem side, John Edwards finished a distant third. Three cheers for that. On the Repub side Mike Huckabee also finished a distant third. Six cheers for that! (This was as of late last night.)

pwbeatty (Sark) said...

As I said in my blog, if Edwards doesn't pull out a win in either S Carolina or Florida, he's campaigning for VP :)

Myrhaf said...

I'm glad so many people liked this one. Thanks, all.

Anonymous said...

"John McCain has suffered much in service to his country. Now he wants to make the rest of us suffer."

I'm flattered that you used my turn of phrase. Actually I think I may have gotten it from Kriegsgefahrzustand, originally. Or did you just come up with that independently?

Either way, the shoe fits and the more people hear it, the better.


Anonymous said...

Oh, wait, I found my earlier use of it.


Myrhaf said...

I used it before myself in a post when I first started blogging. Let us chalk it up to great minds thinking alike, although they rarely do in reality.

Anonymous said...

That is really cool when that happens!