Once upon a time D. Party was an idealistic young girl married to her Shining Knight. They ruled Americatown with a benevolent dictatorship that was so good their regime was compared to Camelot.
D. Party's Shining Knight was assassinated and she fell on hard times. She lost the rule of Americatown to the evil Mr. Gop and his Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy.
Many years passed and D. Party began to think that she would never have a Shining Knight again, and would never rule Americatown again.
Then a tall, dark, rakish man called Clinton Machine appeared. He was a gambler, a hustler and not the most honest man around. He proposed to D. Party, promising her that if she married him, they would regain their lost power in Americatown.
"All I need you to do is turn a few tricks for me," Clinton Machine promised.
"But then I would be a whore," D. Party responded.
"Better to be a whore in power than an honest woman scraping by here in the slums on the dark edge of town."
Clinton Machine whispered words of love and told D. Party he felt her pain and her heart melted. She could not resist this charming rogue.
D. Party agreed to betray her youthful idealism and married Clinton Machine and they defeated the evil Mr. Gop and his VRWC and ruled for many years.
One day the Shining Knight showed up at D. Party's door and asked her to marry him again.
"But -- you were killed so many years ago!" D. Party exclaimed. "It's not possible that you have returned."
Shining Knight explained that he had been shot and mistaken for dead. He spent decades with amnesia, but now his mind was back and he longed to return to the glory days of their benevolent dictatorship of Americatown.
Clinton Machine burst into the room.
"What the f**k you think you're doin', bitch?" Clinton Machine screamed as he slapped D. Party with the back of his hand to send her sprawling on the floor. Blood trickled down her cheek where Clinton Machine's diamond ring cut her.
"I say," Shining Knight objected, "that's no way to treat a lady."
"Lady!" Clinton Machine laughed, "She's a whore, moron! And she's my whore now and she always will be!"
"But you hit her."
"It depends on what the meaning of hit is. Let's call it a love tap."
Clinton Machine kicked Shining Knight out the door and began to work on regaining D. Party's favor. He whispered the words of love he knew she could never resist. His eyes filled with tears and he talked about how much she meant to him.
"Besides," Clinton Machine purred, "Can't you see that Shining Knight is a... negro?"
"That's racist," D. Party replied.
"It depends on what the meaning of racist is. I'm just pointing out that evil Mr. Gop will use racism against Shining Knight, so you might as well stay with me."
Before Clinton Machine left the room he turned back and said with compassion, "You should put some ice on that."
D. Party lay on her bed sobbing at the predicament she was in. She had always accepted Clinton Machine's brutal tactics against Mr. Gop and his VRWC. Mr. Gop was a bad man who deserved whatever smears and lies Clinton Machine told about him. But now Clinton Machine was smearing her Shining Knight, the great love of her youth. Now she felt dirtied and used. Now she just felt like a two-bit whore.
That night D. Party heard a noise on her balcony. She went out the french doors to discover Shining Knight. He had climbed the balcony to take her away with him.
"I know you're still good," Shining Knight assured her. "You still hold the ideals of your youth. Come with me and let us be pure again."
"I... I don't know," D. Party said, wavering between two options.
"You don't have to stay with Clinton Machine," Shining Knight said. "I offer you change you can believe in."
"What does that mean?"
"I don't know, but it sounds like the old magic, doesn't it?"
D. Party thought about it. Then she raised her head and announced, "I will decide on Super Tuesday."
To Be Continued...